INT. KITCHEN TABLE. MORNING
I am sitting at my desk in front of the computer talking to JULES who is 3000 miles and 2 time zones away. Although speaking online is now a new Corona-time reality, with JULES it is our norm as she is based in NYC. She is filling me in with great detail on all that she is having to deal with, in lockdown with her family around her constantly.
ME
From the way you're speaking I want to ask you, what is it that you feel you need right now?
JULES thinks for a while and then thumps her fists on the table. She tilts the camera for me to see.
JULES
This is what I need.
ME
What is that?
JULES
This.
(She thumps them again)
ME
What is the feeling behind this?
JULES
I feel like a moth fluttering near a lamp at night. I am drawn to the light, but it can also roast me. I need a rest. To touch the ground.
ME
How do you think you can be more grounded?
JULES thinks for a while, inhales deeply and lets out a big sigh.
ME
Exactly. (She laughs)
JULES
Sometimes I help my son balance on a big Swiss Ball. I give him my hand, and then just a finger. Even just one finger makes such a difference for him. Just one finger makes it so much easier to balance.
When I feel "attacked" by so many things at a time, and things are in constant change, I need to find that hand, or even just that finger, to help me balance.
ME
Yes, although, things always change. We often feel like we have a sense of what's happening, and some control over it. But really, it is a fake sense of control, because we never really know. Now we are just more aware of it - of the not knowing. Really, the only constant thing in this world is change.
JULES laughs again.
JULES
So what can I do? When I am balancing on that ball?
ME
How about changing the word 'attack' to 'invitation'?
JULES is laughing again, seeing where this is heading.
JULES
That makes it sound better of course. It feels like I can come up with ideas.
ME
Yes! You are invited to manage the balancing on the ball and so you
become more curious, and open to new possibilities because there's nothing to be protected from.
JULES
I think I get it. Not having to protect myself means I can find more things to be supported by on the ball. It makes me feel bigger.
ME
You can also decide to become the ball.
*names and places have been change to honour privacy
Illustration by Evie Fridel