INT. DAY. OFFICE DESK
We are talking online and ZARA is talking about her sense of being attacked from all directions. Dealing with emotional trauma, as well as pressures around schedules, and her team members' personal stresses, she is feeling overwhelmed, and like nothing she does is construed correctly.
ME
What makes you think they misunderstand you?
ZARA
They all think I am being dramatic, and making myself the centre of it all. When actually I am trying to tread carefully, and take everyone into account. It's like this heavy weight on my shoulders.
ME
So what do you think is causing this mismatch?
ZARA
Maybe it's the fact I apologise so much. So it feels like I am justifying myself, and messing up all the time.
ME
Apologise? For what?
ZARA
For being emotional, for not knowing what the right thing to do
is?
ME
And how would you prefer it to have been?
ZARA
I wish I was more resilient. That I didn't get so emotional, maybe. That things would get into me less, so that I would be less fragile.
ME
How can you do that?
ZARA
I wish I could put a sign on my head - "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".
We both laugh.
ME
What is being constructed?
ZARA
Myself.
ME
And how do you do that?
ZARA thinks for a while. She is not sure.
ZARA
Through work? I collaborate with people? Talk to family? Friends?
ME
What else?
ZARA
I don't know.
She thinks some more for quite a while.
ME
I'd like to reflect to you, that you suggest things that are outward facing: work, people around you. How do you think you might be able to do this within yourself?
ZARA thinks for a long time. Her kids' giggles are audible from behind the closed door. Then she lets out a deep sigh.
ME (CONT'D)
Exactly!
She looks a bit perplexed, and then immediately laughs knowingly.
ZARA
Oh, yes. The breath. I forgot about that. I need to breathe.
She takes a DEEP BREATH and there's silence between us. She takes another one, and something in her body shifts. Her shoulders seem to relax and her face opens with the renewed air. It's like she's waking up.
*names and places have been change to honour privacy
Illustration by Evie Fridel